Magdalene Vick

This sun feels so good

Filtering by Tag: emotionalwellbeing

When you realize it's over

Remember the beginning when a guy is super interested in you

Then after a few months he realizes he has you and suddenly things seem less exciting?

I have been talking to this guy for a year now. In the beginning, it was him texting me pretty often. 

Now 12 months later, It's me texting him. 

You could give me advice that I should let it sit, or put it on a shelf for a while, but then I think back to the excitement in the beginning and I desperately want to recreate that, to bring it back....

But it will never come back. What I have now is the present. It is what it is going to be. It's been a year, if things were going to accelerate then they would have already.

So I sit back....Knowing that if I contacted him he would respond, but trying to be honest with myself....Do I really want a relationship with someone who doesn't really.... Who isn't really excited about me right now?

Probably not

Yet there is something in me that thinks I can make him somehow. Like "If only he could see me more, or hang out with me more he would fall in love with me!" It's hard to let things rest when you want them so bad. Especially on holidays like Valentines.  My M.O. is that I can more or less push things to happen, and that's just not realistic. Realistically it's the exact opposite, if I sit back and let things unfold, he will probably love me more. 

But that is hard to do.

That requires the kind of confidence where you know how incredible you are without having to prove it. I don't know if i have that yet. I don't know many people that do. 

But one of the many problems with my thinking here is the fact that if I let it go, in the moment of stillness, thinking it is the end...or that it's over. That's so silly. When is it ever over except when it is morbidly over....

Nothing is Permanent 

 

 

Things Have Changed

Change is terrifying

Yet without it....How can we ever improve our circumstances?

If we want a better quality of life without change we will never have it; by mere definition change is something that wasn't there before.

Change: make or become different

But when unexpected, as most often it is....Change throws us off.

Change says "sorry you thought you were in control......SURPRISE!!!" and boom we have something else to deal with.

The easy thing to do is make it negative.....Complain that it sucks, that the way things were was better. 

I had a shit ton happen to me in the last two months that's changing my life in a lot of ways.

I have some health issues I am dealing with, my childhood cat died, and on top of everything today we are all dealing with a change in authority. 

But change isn't just negative, I've had some positive changes too. I've been working with new people on fun projects, I have built some incredible new relationships, and I'm developing a new sense of worth.  

We have a lot more on our plate. But do we honestly think we cannot handle it? Should we just throw in the towel right now?

No

Change helps us realize that we are capable of far more than we thought. It makes us look at things differently. 

We must be responsible for the change we want in the world.

Take Action. Listen. and Project Love. 

 

 

Don't blame me, I learned it from my parents

When I was little my mom used to say she wanted to run away

My dad would say he wanted to live under a bridge

I guess you could say I was f#%ked from the beginning

As I get older, although I do not have any children, I also feel the need to escape from something and be alone. It's not clear what I would be running away from.....my cats maybe? But that doesn't make sense, I love them. I guess I'd just be running from responsibility?

But does running away actually do more harm to myself than good? 

It certainly doesn't effect anyone else. 

Sometimes we like to think our self inflicted sabotage effects others. That they might see it and be like "NOOOOO Don't do it! Come back Maggie!!"

But usually we are met with the disappointing, but far too often true:

"No one was paying attention" reaction 

The world does not revolve around us

The point is to know it's ok to run away, but why not make it more productive by running away in some painting, or drawing? Or turning on all your senses and just taking a moment and practice your receptivity (if you're an actor....or an empath) which we need so much at this time in history. 

It is important to run away if you have to. Lots of life lessons to be learned. But the answer doesnt always have to be alone and it doesn't have to mean giving up on all your hard work.

After all, you've earned everything you have