It is November 15, 2015 and I am taking a bath
Its 8:43 I got off of work early
Im stressed out a little bit
I had a thought
It always makes me really upset
We think we have a person we call when we need something, when we want to be happy
Like everytime I call them
I want them to lift me up, to give me reasons to be happy
And I often find that
Sometimes when I do call
I am disappointed
I leave these empty spaces
Empty spaces of conversation that I just expect them to fill with the solutions to my problems
And I keep leaving them throughout the conversation
In hopes that they will say something that really makes me happy
Now, as I am growing up
I am learning that
That is not a...
Expectation that I can have anymore
The only person that really is responsible for my energy and lifting me up
Isn't that funny?
Sometimes I feel like I can handle it
And then other times I feel like...
When will it stop...
When will all of this STOP?
Will it ever be easier?
Will anyone ever help me?
I dont want to be the victim
I am working on my mentality
So I suck it up
Trust that I can get myself into an energized zone
I cannot rely on
Anyone but myself
To make myself feel better.
<3 TALKING TO MYSELF Aug 25, 2016