Magdalene Vick

This sun feels so good

Filtering by Category: relationships

The Power of Friend(s)

In this day of social media and "friends"...Who are our real friends?

I've lived in LA for 4 Years now...That's it. 4 years. Before that I lived in New York and before that I was in College..About 4 years in each city.. Sometimes I stress out about not knowing who, or where my real friends are. 

So what makes a real friend?

I just finished listening to "This American Life" an incredible episode called "Ask a Grown up" (if you are in to that type of thing, I highly encourage you to listen to it...It's beautifully striking and profound) Anyway I just finished listening to it, and it occurred to me real friend(s) exist for life. But it may not be all 5,000 of them (which Facebook so generously set as the limit of friends we can have on our personal page. We may only need just one...or two...And we can be picky. After all, you will inevitably be spending a lot of energy on this incredible being. 

A Friend should challenge, inspire, listen to you, make you laugh, and love you. And likewise, you have the honor of doing the same for them. 

I think we should rename our Facebook "friends" to whom we kind-of-know and occasionally hang out with as "People I've met Once and Liked and May be a Good Connection." We should reserve and revere the word "Friend" (with a capitol 'F') for those who really know us and despite our biggest, WEIRDEST quirks and insecurities, still stick around.  Those we can call when we have a panic attack and need someone to just be there for us at 4am. Or for the person who just went through a breakup 6 months ago and still can't get out of bed and yet we keep going over to hang out and bring them ice cream and homemade "f*#k him" cards. 

Sometimes the people who happen to be in closest proximity to our daily routine, are not the salt for our Earth....Some of my closest friends are scattered throughout the United States (and abroad). I love them dearly.. And to those few, I will call (Yes call.... like using a phone and the sound of my voice)  on a regular basis to hear about their week no matter how mundane or exciting it is.  Just to hear their voice and let them know how much I really care about them. 

Because after all friendship is love-ship xoxo

Now share this with your real Friend(s) and let them know how much they mean to you!

When you realize it's over

Remember the beginning when a guy is super interested in you

Then after a few months he realizes he has you and suddenly things seem less exciting?

I have been talking to this guy for a year now. In the beginning, it was him texting me pretty often. 

Now 12 months later, It's me texting him. 

You could give me advice that I should let it sit, or put it on a shelf for a while, but then I think back to the excitement in the beginning and I desperately want to recreate that, to bring it back....

But it will never come back. What I have now is the present. It is what it is going to be. It's been a year, if things were going to accelerate then they would have already.

So I sit back....Knowing that if I contacted him he would respond, but trying to be honest with myself....Do I really want a relationship with someone who doesn't really.... Who isn't really excited about me right now?

Probably not

Yet there is something in me that thinks I can make him somehow. Like "If only he could see me more, or hang out with me more he would fall in love with me!" It's hard to let things rest when you want them so bad. Especially on holidays like Valentines.  My M.O. is that I can more or less push things to happen, and that's just not realistic. Realistically it's the exact opposite, if I sit back and let things unfold, he will probably love me more. 

But that is hard to do.

That requires the kind of confidence where you know how incredible you are without having to prove it. I don't know if i have that yet. I don't know many people that do. 

But one of the many problems with my thinking here is the fact that if I let it go, in the moment of stillness, thinking it is the end...or that it's over. That's so silly. When is it ever over except when it is morbidly over....

Nothing is Permanent 

 

 

That one is not for sale

Why is it that when something is not for sale, too expensive or has a spouse, it suddenly becomes the only thing we want?

 Is it just me?

Pretty much EVERYTHING on the runway....

Have you noticed how attractive that thing becomes? It's like we become obsessed with it. Whether you actually like it or not.  And the attraction itself is a lie because you only like it because you can't have it. It's a way we hide behind our loneliness and insecurities. Because in reality, you kinda don't think you are good enough to deserve the purse or your crush. Because in reality you can never achieve it. Therefore, or course, you make it your personal goal to achieve.  It becomes a game. This goes for both things and people.

(insert your personalized circumstance here)

The real beauty in life is way too boring.....They are the things we already have.  The things and people we have a history with. Ie: my grandma's sweater, my best friend who was there for me when my boyfriend sent me home in an uber on my birthday, and two mismatched earrings my mom bought for me when I was a teen. 

History creates memories which creates sentimentality and that creates price. Not always the label or the press. 

If you want to buy something from the runway wait till someone wears it twice and then get it 80% off at Wasteland. 

If you are looking for meaning, look up