I had a great night. Caught up with a wonderful friend and had only a couple drinks......That shouldn't set me off too much right?
I get home and down food from the refrigerator then wash my greasy hands off and get on my phone...
I turn on the space heater and sit down on the floor next to it.
I get on my phone...At first it was banal, non-offensive behavior....checking notifications, emails....Then I start getting frisky...and not in a sexting sort of way...I mean, playing with myself....And not a masturbatory kind of way....at least not physically.
It starts when I find my way into my 'sound' settings.....And then slowly find my way into my text tones......And then slowly find my way to the one that I used with my ex.
I play it
It is so nice to hear. I feel the thrill. I remember what it was like to hear that tone and to know that the other person on the other side was thinking about me and loved me. (Or so I thought) I played the tone over and over and over and in my tipsy state I stared at the ceiling just feeling the love and longing for it again.
This is when I should have stopped but didn't...
I then decide it's a good idea to see if he's still dating this girl. I thought I had a good chance because he has been acting more "attentive" lately. Calling and texting more frequently....I open Instagram...I search her name....and.....I asked for it.
She's beautiful...Like SUPER Model Beautiful: Perfect bone structure..........Adorable......... Sweet, funny....... Tiny......charming.....And there he is.....Right beside her......Teasing her, Loving her, being affectionate.
He loves her. Like Really loves her.
Everything I always wanted from him, but he would never give....
She looks awesome.
"You won" I think
"You've totally won"
And I did this all to myself.
Tonight would have been awesome. If I just didn't tempt