Magdalene Vick

This sun feels so good

“What the hell is that weird head doing on that tiny body?”

Was my first impression of Captain America: The First Avenger….But I did watch it after celebrating my friend’s birthday with bottomless mimosas at a Drag Show in Weho…So my head wasn’t exactly straight either. But it just seemed a bit strange….and made me anticipate the fact that lil Chris Evans was about to Sexify into a Sexy beast of an American Mascot with some questionable blue injections. Proof for the FDA that plastic surgery and botox really can make dreams come true. I found the movie ok, the structure seemed to replicate Iron Man’s: Man discovers power= first ½ of the movie followed by: Man defeats other Man copying his Super Power= 2 ½ of the movie. Good Man wins, obvi. I did love that Agent Carter was such a badass, but again she is so pretty. I keep wondering “WHERE ARE THE UGLY GIRLS?!” But Also, where is Tony Stark? I miss him…Chris Evan’s character is blah. I’m thirsty. Okay, got some water and now I can be more objective. So, Captain’s saving characteristic is his humanity, I mean his humility….Humanity would literally be the antithsis of all Marvel Superheros. That’s why Pepper Potts is not a superhero (and she doesn’t wear tight clothes….and have an AK) But we are talking about Captain America, Ultimately, Steven saves the New York from being attacked by crashing into the ocean and cryogenically freezing his body for 70 years. Surprise! He’s still alive and Sam L Jackson has something to say to him… Dot Dot Dot Credits….

I got some soup, had no plans for the rest of my Sunday, and sat down for round TWO: THOR! I got about 15 minutes through and I had to take a nap. To be fair, It was probably those mimosas catching up to me and not the quality of the movie. But once the clock hit 8:30…It seemed my head was on a 15 minute timer. I kept pausing, napping for 10 minutes, un pausing and watching…and then getting sleepy again. No matter how captivating Tom Hiddleston was or How charmingly dumb Chris Hemsworth came across, there was clearly nothing that was more important than sleep. LET THAT BE A LESSON TO US ALL! So I paused the movie and went to bed. The next day after my therapy session that ultimately led to my decision to take anxiety meds, I sat down to finish Thor. Only, I’m not sure if that was the best decision considering anxiety medicine amplifies your symptoms in the first few days….

Meaning suddenly the stakes in the movie just got a whole lot more intense.

Now Loki wants to wipe out a whole population of frost people and I’m not sure I am okay with that. Nor am I okay with him trying to kill his father or Thor!!!…Thor may be dumb, but he’s hot as hell and hopefully he and Jane will hook up and have magical lil Asgaardian/New Mexican babies!! With the help of his Hammer, cuz we all need a tool in our lives, Thor saves the day and promises to come back for Jane. Some may have really enjoyed the fight scenes, I got more out of the love story. Thanks duel plot ;) As the credits role: HOLY F*#k! is that Idris Elba?! No way!!!! No exaggeration I freaked out that hard core…Immediately I imdb the whole movie: Natalie Portman, Idris Elba, Anthony Hopkins! Natalie Portman just won an Oscar for Black Swan right before Thor released! Seeing it all together like this really puts things into perspective…To be considered for a Marvel movie one must have A) Won an Oscar or B) Been Nominated for an Oscar but have won a Golden Globe or SAG Award. Looks like this process is going to be longer than I thought...